fuck this took forever but I love it!!!!!!!!!!
Biggest cuff I’ve made so far

(via ibroughtthemotherfuckinghorizon)


Kandi :3

Why is it whenever I try and have a serious conversation with you all you do is say you don’t want to talk about it and shrug it off and change the subject. Why is it whenever YOU want to have a serious conversation we MUST have it. Why at the slightest discomfort from conflict do you shut down. Why can’t you stand up for yourself AND me for being fucked over when we have no money, yet are expected to pay over a thousand when we were told it would only be $300. Why are you running away from everything that is important right now. Why are you not communicating to me like a partner should. Why are you shying away from everything. How can we get past anything if all you do is avoid things and hope they go away.



This was probably the greatest thing I’ve seen all day!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, my new favorite gif.



This was probably the greatest thing I’ve seen all day!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, my new favorite gif.

(via staticontheairwaves)


One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.


Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via disappolnted)

(Source: feellng, via wild-nirvana)



ya’ll are reblogging this ironically but i think this is just wonderful 

about me

(Source: matafari, via clarificationofmeaning)


'I was gonna reblog that but that stupid fucking caption you added is annoying and I'm on mobile so I can't delete it but I'm not encouraging that behavior so I won't reblog it at all' the musical

(via callieasyluckyfree)


*aggressively meows for your attention*

(via darthmoonmoon)